Congratulations to the Class of 2016!
This year was a biggie! It seemed like every day at least one high school graduation invitation found its way into our mailbox. At one point, I wondered if I was going to have to take in ironing to cover all of the checks that I wrote and mailed to these graduates.
I’m so proud of these fine young men and women. It is a big deal to graduate from high school, and Rusty and I congratulate each of them. It has been a blessing to watch these students transition through life and accomplish another monumental goal.
I’m not really sure how this reality hit me; but, at some point during the graduation season, I was reminded of the could-have-been status of our family. Yes, it hit me a few days after our local high school graduation ceremony. If our first child “could have been”, he or she would have been graduating from high school this year. That is just crazy to me! First, it doesn’t seem like Rusty and I are old enough to have an eighteen-year-old child. And secondly, it doesn’t seem like our first miscarriage occurred almost two decades ago. Wow!
[It’s just a speculation … but I’m almost 100% sure that I would have floundered as a mom when it came time for our babies to flutter off to college and to life on their own.]
Our family’s could-have-been. What does it really look like? What if each of our pregnancies had gone to term? What if Rusty and I could have parented the four children we lost through miscarriage? What would this look like for us?
Picture us. Here we are …
RUSTY – Dad, now for 18 years (bet he’d be getting the hang of it by now); ME – Momma of the brood; JESS – 18 years old: WILL – going on 15; RUSS – 13; and our grand finale, “Baby” Farmer – 6 years old and counting.
You’ve never seen our children bailing out of a mini-van in the church parking lot. No one has ever seen them out in our front yard playing kickball on a Saturday afternoon. And nobody spotted our three youngest children in the mob at Patriot Stadium, cheering for their sibling graduate as the diplomas were issued. You see, our earthly family unit consists of Rusty and me, but we still acknowledge the lives of our children. We don’t mournfully dwell on their fragile existence throughout each day, but with milestone events, like a high school graduation, we are often reminded of our four could-have-beens.
Dear friend, have you ever experienced miscarriage? If so, I extend to you my heart-felt sympathy and empathy. I know your pain, and I also know that only the grace and mercy of God can mend your broken heart. I pray His Divine healing for you.
Pregnancy loss is a regret that is never forgotten. I met a dear lady in 2013, who in her eighties, was able to tell me the due date for her daughter whom she had miscarried over sixty years ago. I have had retirement-aged women approach me at various ministry events and share from tender hearts about a baby – or babies – they lost through miscarriage almost a half-century ago. Why is that? Why is the tiny existence of intrauterine life not easily forgotten by his/her mother? Why is it that a woman cannot magically forget forever the loss of a baby that was being formed within her womb?
I think I may have the answer, dear friend. (At least it is the answer for me.) It is quite simple. Human life begins within the womb. In Psalms 139:13 and 15, David states, “For You (God) formed my inward parts; You woven me in my mother’s womb. …My frame was not hidden from you, When I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth.” In Galatians 1:15, Isaiah 49:1, and Luke 1:15, we find God calling, naming, and blessing children all while they were still in the womb. In Jeremiah 1:5, the Lord tells His prophet Jeremiah, “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born, I sanctified you.” There are countless Scriptural references and scientific findings that are conclusive: Life begins at conception! And I am convinced it is the guarantee of genuine, complete human life within the womb that causes these teeny babies to live forever in our hearts.
Dear lady, if you have encountered pregnancy loss, I humbly remind you that God has a plan of contentment and an abundant life for His people. Even if we are living our lives without our unborn children, I know God’s grace gives us joy for each day. Although we have His joy, the subtle reminders of our could-have-been families reveal themselves to us from time to time. These sweet moments of reflection are ours to cherish as beloved souvenirs, given to us by God Almighty. My sister, let us anticipate a Heavenly reunion, knowing there is a Savior and knowing that a life began within our wombs.
His love for you,
Candise
Candise, there is no way I could possible understand what you and Rusty have gone through but I thank God for you both!!!!!!
Thank you for being faithful to God’s direction and leading despite life’s terrible heartbreaks. What LOVE, JOY and LAUGHTER you brought into the lives of my children, you guys showed them what a christian life really looks like, the good and the bad. You made God real to them not just a story in a book, but you showed them He is a living breathing Holy God, for that I could never thank you enough.
Stay strong my dear sister, with all my love and prayers May God Bless You Both
Rhonda, what a comment! I’m humbled and so very grateful for you and your family being in our lives for all these years! All I can say is … GOD gets the GLORY. END of the STORY!! (I first heard this in a message by Bro. Steve.) Only by the grace of GOD has our story gotten its happy ending! I love you more than words can say, and I thank GOD for you!
Candise, what an excellent window into your heart and love. I pray that I am in that picture somewhere, maybe a Sunday School lesson, Vacation Bible School, summer camp program or even on the Upward field. You guys are parenting many, lives are being touched and changed for eternity. May God continue to bless you both in everything you do in His name.
Oh, sister Ann, aka “Darlin'” Yes – you are in that picture somewhere. I know exactly where … I’ll never forget the impact you had on my life. Years ago – many years ago – on a student retreat at Nathan Bedford Park, God showed me (through you) what a Godly, vibrant woman of the Lord looked like! I love you forever!
Candise your writings always bring me such comfort. I am always so thankful for our son, Ryan, and I know having him as my son has allowed me to better see God’s love working in my life. I do, however, have to admit that I have also allowed myself to imagine the could-have-beens along the way; the milestones not achieved nor experienced. Know that you continue to console and soothe mothers of all situations.
Sweet Leann, thank you for this message from your heart. You have been such an encouragement to me – for YEARS! I’m so grateful for God giving you Ryan! I LOVE your testimony – with Ryan, you’ve seen God’s love working in your life! WOW! What a sweet, compassionate Father!
Oh the thrill of being able to see Jesus face to face! I often wonder how God takes little ones at 1 month, at 2 months, at 3 months, etc. into heaven. Does he place them into the arms of a mother that never got to see their own child grow? Or are they at a certain age when they arrive? Guess we will find out one day. Great Words from your heart Miss Candise. To Him ALL the glory!
Oh, Bro. Joe, I wonder too. It’s so fun to think about eternity with Jesus! He is WONDERFUL! WONDERFUL! WONDERFUL!
A little sad but an encouraging post. God bless.
Thank you, Lila, for leaving a comment! My prayer is for each blog to encourage and direct hearts to our Gracious Father! He is a good, good Father.
Real sweet Candice. Need to send this to Remi. I am finishing a baby quilt for her. Something she requested to help her. I think of your little table and chairs. God bless you and Rusty. God has given you many more children to be a blessing to. Love Nancy
Dearest Nancy, thank you for your sweet message! God is so very good. I love you and hope to see you soon. We’ll be praying and awaiting Remi’s baby.